‘New Rave’ was a national embarrassment. Neon face paint. Painfully tight jeans. Printed hoodies best left to a CBeebies presenter. And worst of all, we actually wore it. But we’ve since grown beyond (and would rather forget) trends set by bands with names like Cansei de Ser Sexy.
And it’s not just our skin that’s cleared up. While most of New Rave’s trappings are best left to old copies of NME, there is one saving grace: sloganwear. But before you suffer ‘Save The Rave’ bouts of PTSD, the mid-noughties albatross has mellowed with us thanks to Vetements and Gucci. And thankfully, no mention of a rave scene that was long dead before we’d even first dabbled with White Lightning.
Ron Dorff Discipline Sweatshirt
If you’re on the harsh end of gym-bunny accusations, Ron Dorff has your back. The pro-discipline jumper is a minimalist shield to any would-be insult. Just remember to keep quality cotton out of the locker room.
Available at Ron Dorff, priced £105.
Gucci Ghost Sweatshirt
Less a slogan piece, more an exclusive graphic collaboration with Brooklyn artist Trevor AKA Trouble Andrew, all mounted upon luxury cotton jersey with striped woollen trims. As is the Gucci way.
Available at Gucci, priced £510.
Justin Bieber Purpose Tour Mesh V-Neck T-shirt
Nobody can question Justin Bieber’s successful rebrand. And while we can’t make excuses for spitting on fans and general arseholery, his new merch is strong stuff – think nu-metal vibes with Yeezy-like branding. Nothing eenie meenie here.
Available at Urban Outfitters, priced £55.
Kit Neale Bill Clinton T-Shirt
Consider yourself a Democrat but can’t quite shake those deleted emails? Endorse Hillary’s man instead with the Kit Neale Bill Clinton tee. Anything but a ‘Make America Great Again’ baseball cap.
Available at Kit Neale, priced £25.
Art Disco Happy Daze Print T-Shirt
If you like your raves heavy but your threads muted, Art Disco has reinvented Madchester tees in a simpler shell. Same idea, just fewer blatant narcotic references.
Available at Topman, priced £25.
PS By Paul Smith Lip Up Slogan T-Shirt
‘Forty Licks’ tribute or a nod to a little-known reggae band called Bad Manners? Not sure. But at least we can trust in Paul Smith’s signature craftsmanship and colourful disposition – two things very much present.
Available at House of Fraser, priced £60.
Undefeated Slogan T-Shirt
Struggle to keep yourself in check at Sunday five-a-sides? Swerve the red card with Undefeated’s rather, erm, punchy tee. Maybe take a change of clothes for church though.
Available at Van Mildert, priced £18.
ASOS Rainbow Text Back Print T-Shirt
Does it get more meta than this? ASOS’ slogan tee nods to our New Rave youth. But that was all just a rebrand of the generations it followed. And technically, most New Rave survivors are still in their youth. Our heads hurt. But this balance of staple and colour pop doesn’t.
Available at ASOS, priced £16.