You’ve saved three long months for a Loewe shirt. The big debut (your partner’s office party) is just around the corner. Your threads are bound to impress. That is until somebody asks you where said shirt is from. It can’t be lerv-eh? Loo-vee? Maybe even low?

Save yourself the embarrassment with our definitive guide on how to pronounce everything that matters in fashion. At least you can sound like an expert.

Alessandro Michele
Gucci’s groundbreaking new creative director.
Al-e-sand-ro Mik-ah-lay

Armani
Italian fashion house that is very good at leathers and fragrances.
Ah-ma-nee

Audemars Piguet
An ostentatious Swiss watch brand worn by rappers worldwide.
Or-da-mar Pee-gay

Balenciaga
Spanish brand that has long pushed unusual silhouettes.
Bal-en-see-ah-ga

Bally
Swiss fashion brand that first offered elastic-closure shoes.
Bah-lee

Balmain
Heavily embellished fashion brand, often worn by Kardashians.
Bahl-mahn

Kim Kardashian & Kanye West's Balmain 2016 Advertising Campaign

Blancpain
Swiss watch brand famous for meticulous hand-painted dials.
Blon-pan

Boglioli
Italian brand known for classic tailoring.
Bow-lee-oh-lee

Bouchra Jarrar
Balenciaga alumnus, now in charge at Lavin.
Boosh-ra Zha-rar

Brunello Cucinelli
Italian brand famed for its separates.
Bru-nell-o Coo-chi-nell-ee

Bvlgari
Luxury Italian jewellery brand – don’t be fooled, the V is Latin for U.
Bul-gar-ee

Chanel
French fashion house with an often plagarised interlocking C logo.
Shan-ell

Chanel Pre-Fall 2015 Advertising Campaign

Christian Lacroix
French fashion designer that started out in theatre sets.
Kris-te-en La-kwah

Comme des Garçons
The fashion label behind Dover Street Market; actually Japanese, despite the name.
Kom di Gar-sonn

Demna Gvasalia
A Georgian designer responsible for Vetements, now in charge at Balenciaga.
Dem-na Gva-za-lee-a

Dolce & Gabbana
Italian design duo; fond of Sicilian tailoring and lots and lots of flowers.
Doll-chay and Gab-an-a

Donatella Versace
In charge at Versace, fond of blonde hair and oil-slicked topless men.
Don-a-tel-a Vu-sar-chi

Dries Van Noten
Belgian fashion designer known for striking prints.
Drees Van No-ten

Dries Van Noten

Ermenegildo Zegna
Italian luxury house and the largest menswear brand in the world by revenue.
Eh-men-e-jil-do Zen-ya

Gianni Versace
The late founder of Versace, brother of Donatella.
Jyan-ni Vu-sar-chi

Gieves & Hawkes
Bespoke men’s tailor on Savile Row since 1771.
Geevs and Horks

Givenchy
Aristocratic French luxury brand, founded in 1952.
Zhi-von-shee

Gucci
Italian brand first famous for luxury leathers.
Goo-chi

Haider Ackermann
Colombian designer in creative control of Berluti.
Hyd-er Akk-a-mun

Haider Ackermann

Hardy Amies
English fashion designer who was once official dressmaker to Queen Elizabeth.
Har-de Ay-mees

Hedi Slimane
Former creative director at Saint Laurent; famously dropped the ‘Yves’.
Ed-e Slim-ahn

Hermès
French fashion house famous for very expensive scarves.
Er-mez

Issey Miyake
Japanese designer, likes a pleat.
Iss-ee Me-ya-ke

Jaeger-LeCoultre
Swiss watch brand that first pioneered a reversible dial.
Jzhay-Jzher Le-Koo

John Galliano
British fashion designer; led Dior, said some indefensible things while drunk, and is now at Maison Margiela.
Jon Gal-e-ar-no

John Galliano

Junya Watanabe
Japanese designer and former protégé of Rei Kawakubo from Commes des Garçons.
Jun-ya Wat-a-nah-bae

Karl Lagerfeld
Iconic designer behind Chanel and Fendi – has a cat named Choupette (shoo-pet).
Karl Lar-ga-felt

Lanvin
French fashion house often labelled the oldest of its kind.
Lor(n)-va

Loewe
Spanish fashion brand that has undergone major rebranding under Jonathan Anderson.
Lo-ay-vay

Longines
Swiss watch brand with the industry’s oldest registered trademark (a winged hourglass, if you’re asking).
Lon-zheen

Louis Vuitton
The world’s most profitable luxury brand with a world famous monogram print.
Loo-ee Vwee-to(n)

Louis Vuitton 2016 Advertising Campaign

Maison Kitsuné
A fashion brand offshoot from the French electronic record label.
May-zon Kit-soo-nay

Maison Margiela
Formerly known as Maison Martin Margiela; French minimalist designer brand.
May-zon Mar-jel-a

Miuccia Prada
The founding designer behind Prada and Miu Miu.
Me-oo-cha Pra-da

Moncler
French outdoors brand that made the move into fashion.
Mon-clair

Moschino
A tongue-in-cheek Italian fashion brand, now headed by Jeremy Scott.
Moss-ke-no

Nicholas Ghesquière
French fashion designer and creative director of Louis Vuitton, formerly of Balenciaga.
Nee-ko-la Gess-kyair

Olivier Rousteing
Creative director at Balmain, enjoys taking selfies.
Oliv-ee-yay Roo-stain

Olivier Rousteing

Ozwald Boateng
An English fashion designer of Ghanaian descent, known for classic tailoring.
Oz-wold Bo-a-teng

Prada
Italian fashion brand, sometimes worn by devils.
Prah-dah

Raf Simons
Belgian fashion designer that enjoyed a stint at Dior before heading up Calvin Klein.
Rauph Sim-muns

Rei Kawakubo
The designer/mastermind behind Commes des Garçons and Dover Street Market.
Ray Ka-wa-koo-bo

Riccardo Tisci
Italian fashion designer in charge at Givenchy.
Rick-ar-do Tiss-key

Richard Mille
Swiss watchmaker known for advanced, futuristic watches.
Ree-shard Meal

Saint Laurent
French fashion brand now known for leathers and rock-inspired threads.
San Lor-on

Saint Laurent SS16 Advertising Campaign

Salvatore Ferragamo
Italian fashion brand that produces leathers, shoes and apparel.
Sal-va-tor-ay Ferr-a-garm-o

Thom Browne
American designer, enjoys a stripe.
Tom Brown

Vacheron Constantin
One of the oldest (and most expensive) Swiss watch brands.
Vash-a-ron Con-stan-tan

Versace
Italian fashion brand known for Greek meandros-style prints (the tiled borders you see in Roman swimming pools).
Vu-sar-chi

Vetements
Surreal designer brand, part streetwear, part cult label.
Vet-e-mon

Wooyungmi
A leading South Korean menswear brand known for skilled tailoring.
Woo-yung-me

Yves Saint Laurent
The French founder of the eponymous brand.
Eves San Lor-on