You’ve saved three long months for a Loewe shirt. The big debut (your partner’s office party) is just around the corner. Your threads are bound to impress. That is until somebody asks you where said shirt is from. It can’t be lerv-eh? Loo-vee? Maybe even low? Save yourself the embarrassment with our definitive guide on how to pronounce everything that matters in fashion. At least you can sound like an expert. Alessandro Michele
Blancpain Swiss watch brand famous for meticulous hand-painted dials. Blon-pan Boglioli Italian brand known for classic tailoring. Bow-lee-oh-lee Bouchra Jarrar Balenciaga alumnus, now in charge at Lavin. Boosh-ra Zha-rar Brunello Cucinelli Italian brand famed for its separates. Bru-nell-o Coo-chi-nell-ee Bvlgari Luxury Italian jewellery brand – don’t be fooled, the V is Latin for U. Bul-gar-ee Chanel French fashion house with an often plagarised interlocking C logo. Shan-ell
Christian Lacroix French fashion designer that started out in theatre sets. Kris-te-en La-kwah Comme des Garçons The fashion label behind Dover Street Market; actually Japanese, despite the name. Kom di Gar-sonn Demna Gvasalia A Georgian designer responsible for Vetements, now in charge at Balenciaga. Dem-na Gva-za-lee-a Dolce & Gabbana Italian design duo; fond of Sicilian tailoring and lots and lots of flowers. Doll-chay and Gab-an-a Donatella Versace In charge at Versace, fond of blond hair and oil-slicked topless men. Don-a-tel-a Vu-sar-chi Dries Van Noten Belgian fashion designer known for striking prints. Drees Van No-ten
Ermenegildo Zegna Italian luxury house and the largest menswear brand in the world by revenue. Eh-men-e-jil-do Zen-ya Gianni Versace The late founder of Versace, brother of Donatella. Jyan-ni Vu-sar-chi Gieves & Hawkes Bespoke men’s tailor on Savile Row since 1771. Geevs and Horks Givenchy Aristocratic French luxury brand, founded in 1952. Zhi-von-shee
Hardy Amies English fashion designer who was once official dressmaker to Queen Elizabeth. Har-de Ay-mees Hedi Slimane Former creative director at Saint Laurent; famously dropped the ‘Yves’. Ed-e Slim-ahn Hermès French fashion house famous for very expensive scarves. Er-mez Issey Miyake Japanese designer, likes a pleat. Iss-ee Me-ya-ke Jaeger-LeCoultre Swiss watch brand that first pioneered a reversible dial. Jzhay-Jzher Le-Koo John Galliano British fashion designer; led Dior, said some indefensible things while drunk, and is now at Maison Margiela. Jon Gal-e-ar-no
Junya Watanabe Japanese designer and former protégé of Rei Kawakubo from Commes des Garçons. Jun-ya Wat-a-nah-bae Karl Lagerfeld Iconic designer behind Chanel and Fendi – has a cat named Choupette (shoo-pet). Karl Lar-ga-felt Lanvin French fashion house often labelled the oldest of its kind. Lor(n)-va Loewe Spanish fashion brand that has undergone major rebranding under Jonathan Anderson. Lo-ay-vay Longines Swiss watch brand with the industry’s oldest registered trademark (a winged hourglass, if you’re asking). Lon-zheen Louis Vuitton The world’s most profitable luxury brand with a world famous monogram print. Loo-ee Vwee-to(n)
Maison Kitsuné A fashion brand offshoot from the French electronic record label. May-zon Kit-soo-nay Maison Margiela Formerly known as Maison Martin Margiela; French minimalist designer brand. May-zon Mar-jel-a Miuccia Prada The founding designer behind Prada and Miu Miu. Me-oo-cha Pra-da Moncler French outdoors brand that made the move into fashion. Mon-clair Moschino A tongue-in-cheek Italian fashion brand, now headed by Jeremy Scott. Moss-ke-no Nicholas Ghesquière French fashion designer and creative director of Louis Vuitton, formerly of Balenciaga. Nee-ko-la Gess-kyair Olivier Rousteing Creative director at Balmain, enjoys taking selfies. Oliv-ee-yay Roo-stain
Ozwald Boateng An English fashion designer of Ghanaian descent, known for classic tailoring. Oz-wold Bo-a-teng Prada Italian fashion brand, sometimes worn by devils. Prah-dah Raf Simons Belgian fashion designer that enjoyed a stint at Dior before heading up Calvin Klein. Rauph Sim-muns Rei Kawakubo The designer/mastermind behind Commes des Garçons and Dover Street Market. Ray Ka-wa-koo-bo Riccardo Tisci Italian fashion designer in charge at Givenchy. Rick-ar-do Tiss-key Richard Mille Swiss watchmaker known for advanced, futuristic watches. Ree-shard Meal Saint Laurent French fashion brand now known for leathers and rock-inspired threads. San Lor-on
Salvatore Ferragamo Italian fashion brand that produces leathers, shoes and apparel. Sal-va-tor-ay Ferr-a-garm-o Thom Browne American designer, enjoys a stripe. Tom Brown Vacheron Constantin One of the oldest (and most expensive) Swiss watch brands. Vash-a-ron Con-stan-tan Versace Italian fashion brand known for Greek meandros-style prints (the tiled borders you see in Roman swimming pools). Vu-sar-chi Vetements Surreal designer brand, part streetwear, part cult label. Vet-e-mon Wooyungmi A leading South Korean menswear brand known for skilled tailoring. Woo-yung-me Yves Saint Laurent The French founder of the eponymous brand. Eves San Lor-on