We get it it, you’re Banta Claus and want everyone to know that you’re on the hunt for ‘ho ho hoes’ and just how ‘well hung’ your stocking is. But just stop and think for a minute.
Are you sure, having spent eleven months of the year perfecting an arsenal of on-trend menswear pieces, you want to let it all slide for the sake of an obnoxiously loud (and not to mention, highly flammable) Christmas jumper?
We thought not, and so here are eight of the best non-naff festive knits to see you through the season in style.
Bellfield Kilbreck Jumper
Public service announcement: Not all fantastically festive throw-overs have to leave a dent in your style. Pairing the season for chunky-as-you-like knits with a tonal Fair Isle-inspired jacquard, Bellfield’s Kilbreck jumper is one you can wear well into 2017.
Available at Bellfield, priced £40.
Givenchy Slim-Fit Embroidered Cashmere Sweater
The minimalist’s Christmas jumper of choice. Givenchy’s take on the tacky tradition may be cut from bah-humbug black (albeit comfy-as-hell cashmere bah-humbug black) but it still packs a dollop of festivity thanks to the embroidered wreath.
Available at Mr Porter, priced £760.
Moncler Wool And Alpaca-Blend Sweater
It bears repeating that most Christmas jumpers are more “no no no” than “ho ho ho”. Fortunately, Moncler’s vibrant red wool and alpaca-blend sweater is more great than gaudy, especially when paired with dark denim and winter-appropriate boots.
Available at MatchesFashion, priced £355.
Abercrombie & Fitch Patterned Shawl Cardigan
If you’re looking to add a knit that will slot seamlessly within your everyday wardrobe, you could do a lot worse that Abercrombie & Fitch’s patterned shawl neck cardigan. Plus, you can wear it undone so you can carry on tucking into the mince pies. Santa would approve.
Available at Abercrombie & Fitch, priced £77.
Burton Polygon Reindeer Christmas Jumper
Sure, yuletide garms should be fun, but some just look like they belong on a log fire. Burton’s abstract polygon reindeer Christmas jumper toes the line between tacky and tasteful but “it’s art”, so gets a pass.
Available at Burton, priced £20.
The London Knitwear Company Pink Christmas Jumper
Sleigh my name, sleigh my name, if no one is around you… well then you’re kind of just wearing this on your own, which is a bit weird. One for the nineties kids, The London Knitwear Company’s Christmas jumper is cut from a soft brushed back cotton fabric in one of 2016’s hottest colourways.
Available at Topman, priced £28.
Z Zegna Grey Elk-Design Merino Sweater
This grey elk-design sweater from fabled Milanese brand Zegna can’t promise to be a trophy piece all year round, but it will at least see you through Christmas cringe-free. Knitted from a blend of wool and cashmere for a thoroughly luxurious finish, if ever there was a reason for treating yourself…
Available at Ermenegildo Zegna, priced £280.
River Island Black Star Print Slim Fit Jumper
No, River Island’s black star print jumper doesn’t immediately scream joyeux noel and, yes, you will have plenty of people in the office point that out. But when they do, just start singing carols very loudly in their face. Problem solved.
Available at River Island, priced £30.