Contrary to what you may believe, there are plenty of hot people looking for casual, no-strings-attached sex. And with the rise of dating apps like Tinder and Grindr, it’s never been easier for you to, ahem, accommodate them.
You no longer have to get a wingman to go out with at the weekend, dress to impress, take a wad of cash for drinks and target a group of potential mates to chat up with the hope that one of them is pissed enough to want to bump nasties at the end of the night.
Thank god those days are over, too. The downside to this approach was always that the one you got would inevitably be so pissed that they are sick over you and ultimately too squiffy to be up for a fumble, passing out, snoring loudly and taking up the whole of your bed while you’re left to masturbate in the lounge to some porn to get your rocks off.
So, if you’re going to do casual sex, and not be a dick with your dick, what should you do?
1. Choose Wisely
Search for a partner that isn’t looking for a relationship. They aren’t a rare unicorn, there are plenty out there. Many individuals are independent now and don’t want the complications of pairing up with someone.
Some clues they’re just looking for a bit of slap and tickle include the ‘just looking for fun’ tagline on dating profiles or half naked photos on their social media accounts. Similarly, if whomever you are talking to uses suggestive sexual talk from the start, then it could be a sign they are looking for casual sex.
Regardless of whether they tick all or none of these boxes, always verify. Flirt, get banter going then playfully ask what they want from you.
Whether you are looking for a one-night stand, casual sex or a relationship, the one common denominator should always be respect. If you want to get the best out of someone, then respect them.
The more pleasure you give them the more they will give you. Simple. Put them first and you will reap the rewards tenfold. This also includes being truthful with the person if you feel it’s time to move on; be sure to leave the other party feeling good about themselves.
3. Don’t Give The Boyfriend Experience
Avoid giving the other person false promises or hopes. Keep your intention clear: the focus is on sex – but don’t lead someone on just to get laid on the regular.
Keep compliments fun and sexual. Talk should not cover feelings or emotions; they’ve got friends for that. Keep chat light-hearted with lots of banter to ensure they come back for more.
4. Location Location Location
Unless there is some mitigating reason not to (like their housemate is your ex – in which case, what are you doing?) always go to their place so you can leave and keep control of the time you spend together without the awkwardness of them overstaying their welcome.
Avoid date scenarios like romantic dinners, meet for casual drinks instead. Be conscious of how much time you are spending together and avoid any opportunities to meet their friends and family – it could be a sign they are hoping for more.
Make sure you are aware of the signs if they are becoming attached, so you can slow things down or move on.
5. The Booty Curtain Call
If you want to call last orders at the blowjob bar for whatever reason, there are different ways of breaking up with a casual sex partner, all of which involve being a man about it.
Because you haven’t (or at least shouldn’t have) delved into emotions, and providing you were clear from the get-go of getting down-and-dirty, you don’t have to deal with the whys and all the intense questions that usually follow a relationship breakup.
That said, remember this is a person: be decent about it, don’t use it as an opportunity to point out their flaws, or mention that you didn’t like when they did that thing. If the other person genuinely did want casual sex, as long as you treated them well, they should be able to dust themselves off and move on quickly without upset or a knock to their confidence.
The alternative is to allow things to fizzle out. This often takes some time: increasing the gaps between meets until they are so far apart the other person has already had time to line up their next conquest. Whatever you do, don’t just ghost them. Remember those balls you’ve been using for the past however long? Yeah, find them.