Everyone has their own bedroom likes and dislikes. But there are a few positions that, for the majority women, just won’t hit the spot – no matter how much E you put behind your D.
Not getting the expected response when getting down and dirty could be down to using one of these four positions. So switch it up.
Dog may be man’s best friend – but it’s not always woman’s. Rear entry (not that kind) is usually a firm favourite for blokes, offering deeper penetration and an alternative view of her assets. However, for some women, it’s not just uncomfortable, it’s actually painful. “I’m thinking ‘do my boobs look weird’, ‘my arms are killing me’ and, then, when he really goes for it, ‘holy crap did he just hit my cervix?’” says Cosmopolitan sex and relationships editor Lane Moore.
And chances are, yes, you probably did. “The issue here is you may be ramming her cervix, which is why deep penetration can be more harmful than hot,” says gynaecologist Dr Sara Gottfried. “Plus, if you’re fully removing yourself, then re-entering, it often hurts her chances at staying fully lubricated.”
To prevent it getting painful, keep thrusts short and shallow and be sure to touch the rest of her body rather than sitting back to enjoy the ride.
Woman On Top
Some studies have found that women aren’t so keen on going on top because of insecurities, and in some cases this may be true. “Women often worry about what their stomach or breasts look like from that angle – as they’ve never seen them from down there,” says Dr Gottfried.
Sometimes, though, there’s another reason at play. “To be honest, when I’m on top, I just don’t really feel anything,” says ‘Betsy’, part of a study group created by Bustle to dissect women’s favourite positions. “I don’t get any sensation, nothing special goes through my mind and because I can’t feel much, my mind starts to wander.”
If she seems bored while on top, come out of your own bubble and switch it up by trying positions that at least take her mind off paying bills.
On paper (and in porn) riding reverse seems sexy, but there’s a biological reason that most positions are head-to-head. “You might not feel it, but things don’t always fit the way they should when you’re riding the wrong way round,” says sex author and doctor Jen Landa.
While for some women this can be uncomfortable, it should also be a real fear for men. Any time you bend your penis too far at the base you risk serious damage.
Call it vanilla, but missionary is still the most popular position of them all. Yet for some women, it can be about as enjoyable as going for a smear test.
Missionary doesn’t hit the nerves at the front of the vagina, which means it doesn’t hit the G-spot. If that’s how your partner usually orgasms, then this position isn’t going to tick the box. “If [your penis] is on the smaller end of the spectrum, it really doesn’t accentuate your size, either,” adds Dr Landa.
Dogs may be out, but consider bringing in the CAT. The Coital Alignment Technique is similar to missionary, except your body is farther up. Instead of chest-to-chest, your chest should be nearer to her shoulders, and her legs should be at about 45 degrees. According to the Journal of Sex & Marital Therapy, women are 56 per cent more likely to climax using the technique, so it’s worth a shot.