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  1. #1
    Nath6644's Avatar

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    Losing confidence in my clothes

    Hi guys,

    I haven't posted a thread in a while because I think I'm losing my interest in fashion.

    It's not that I've stopped caring about how I look, or that I now see it as shallow or materialistic or anything like that.

    It's just that I've stopped enjoying getting dressed up in the morning.

    I used to be a bit of a dandy. I liked drawing attention to myself, expressing myself through my outfit choices. I spent hundreds on well-made clothes that fitted me perfectly, became a serious fashion writer for several publications. But now I feel uncomfortable going out in anything other than a t-shirt and jeans. I can't stand standing out anymore, and this worries me, because I think it's a confidence issue.

    Has anyone else experienced this? More importantly, has anyone overcome it?
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  2. #2
    MarcLager's Avatar

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    Once or twice per year, I feel like throwing my whole wardrobe out, and just go for jeans, t-shirt, badly fitting hoodies and battered old sneakers. Because frankly, it doesn't feel like anyone gives a shit that you make an effort to look good. In fact, it quite often feels like it's a source of resentment. So when confidence wanes, it's natural to not want to stand out. Standing out requires confidence and a belief in what you're doing.

    Because I have young children, who periodically are very demanding, I sometimes can't bring myself to spend even five minutes ironing a shirt, and I refuse to wear a wrinkled, unironed shirt. Then it's hard to keep it up. Especially since most people won't even take notice if your shirt is ironed or not.

    Perhaps there's something in your life at the moment that takes more energy than usual? That can take a toll on confidence, or make it hard to keep an interest up. Your confidence will return, I'm sure.

  3. #3
    NorthernSoul's Avatar

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    There's nothing wrong with a t-shirt and jeans look!

    If you were spending all that money on clothing in attempt to stand out and express yourself, then maybe your sense of style is now maturing, rather than a confidence issue. People go through certain phases, especially in fashion where trends evolve and change so much and maybe being ostentatious was yours? Everyone has their own reasons why they dress the way they do, some care, others don't. Personal circumstances and priorities change all the time, has there been anything significant that's happened to you recently that may of changed your outlook on fashion?
    Last edited by NorthernSoul; 14-09-2013 at 07:04 PM. Reason: crap spelling

  4. #4
    William Colman's Avatar

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    Everyone goes through phases. I've gone through many, eventually you'll find a new direction which will restart your interest and get the juices flowing again so to speak.

  5. #5

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    Perhaps it is a confidence thing? We all go through phases where are confidence is not on par with what it usually is and would prefer to blend in with the masses rather than stand out.

    Do you view it as that or is it more so to do with a change in direction of how you would like your style to come across?

  6. #6

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    Yes definatley, I would say that im going through the opposite phase at the moment. I've always had an interest in fashion, but the last 1-2 years since building up confidence from university and starting work I've seen my fashion change alot. Now I can buy clothes that I like opposed to buying clothes to just 'fit in' i guess.

    I'm sure its just a phase for you, we all have them. Just give it time and wear what you feel comfortable in, which is the most important thing.

  7. #7

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    I definitely know how you feel. I have often wondered whether other people feel similarly on here, and whether it depends on where people live? It doesn't seem to take much to stand out in many cities across the UK. Maybe London is a bit different though? Just a blazer or nice pair of shoes seems to do it. I'm constantly surprised that I appear to receive more attention for a smart pair of indigo jeans, tweed blazer and oxford shirt than someone who is wearing a crumpled tracksuit or similar everyday attire.

  8. #8
    Nath6644's Avatar

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    Thanks for all the insightful responses.

    The more I think about it, the more it seems like a confidence issue, rather than a shift in tastes or priorities.

    I used to like my tall, very skinny physique because I felt it was distinctive and, consequently, I embraced it. Now I'm starting to dislike it, but I'm also losing confidence in everything else. I don't really like my face, whatever hairstyle I adopt to improve it.

    I've started to lose confidence in simple things like skinny jeans, which have been the foundation of my wardrobe for years, and blazers, which I was famous more.
    Facebook - https://www.facebook.com/NathanBeesleyMusic

    SoundCloud - https://soundcloud.com/nathan-beesley-music

    Last.fm - http://www.last.fm/user/NathanBeesley

    Blog - https://boywiththethorninhisside.wordpress.com/

  9. #9

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    Sure it's not a motivation issue? Living in the West Country where most people wear Super Dry hoodies and ill-fitting jeans I stand out like a sore thumb for trying to look good. I often go through phases where I just can't be arsed to make any effort because I can still look better than everyone else without bothering. Maybe you're the same? If you really do have insecurities about your build maybe start going to the gym? I used to avoid wearing t-shirts because I thought my arms looked too weak. In May/June I started going weight training to do something about this and now love t-shirts because I can show off my work. Sure you can do this to fill out the tighter clothes if you're genuinely uncomfortable?

  10. #10

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    Hit the gym man. I was very uncomfortable with my skinny and lanky self (I've still got a lot to go physique wise), to an extent that I didn't like wearing T-shirts and such. My main motivation was that I didn't want to be remembered as "that tall skinny guy". Sure the first few weeks are gonna be brutal, but confidence wise, I feel a whole lot better about myself.

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