FashionBeans: Men's Fashion & Men's Style Guide
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  1. #1

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    Feel as though my style is leaning towards a more mature look...

    I have edited this post as however it was really helpful it is no longer relevant.
    Last edited by Naboo; 18-12-2013 at 04:19 PM.

  2. #2

    Fashionisto
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    Hello there,

    This is my first post also. I was actually planning on being a silent user on these forums until I read your post and felt rather compelled to respond.
    There's a striking similarity between your first paragraph and my own experiences, although I wouldn't use a word quite as strong as "depression", I've certainly had periods where I've felt a little lost and helpless. I firmly believe my image has played a major role in my unhappiness. Hair loss being the number one factor. It's surprising how easily you can lose confidence.
    In all honesty I was never that great with fashion anyway, but things were much easier 10 years ago. Logos were more than enough to kill any creative individualism. I always wanted to dress a certain way but as you said yourself, "feel odd, won't fit in"... I think we'll all fit in just fine when we truly find ourselves.

    I'm going for a slight edgy, smart casual look (at least that's how I'd describe it) with bright statement accessories (ties, scarves,lapel pins etc), because I believe that's who I am, and I think I'll be much happier and confident.

    Good luck to you sir!!
    Last edited by BaconLad; 16-10-2013 at 11:54 AM. Reason: Horrible grammar...

  3. #3

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    I'm a bit older than you - I hope that doesn't disqualify me from answering.
    Quote Originally Posted by Naboo View Post

    Over the past couple of years I have suffered with depression and as a result through this time I sort of lost my identity as a person. I am now working towards being 'better' and feel as though I need to refresh my look as part of building a newer, happier me.

    I was wondering if there were any other young guys who have gone for this approach too (which I'm sure there will be) and how have they dealt with it amongst their friends etc as a lot of my friends are still wearing Hollister and those sort of clothes.
    I think you might just be worrying too much. Your friends are going to be perfectly accepting of your new clothes. There might be a couple of comments but there's nothing to be ashamed of in taking a few jokes about looking smart - and you might well get some compliments thrown in too. Frankly if wearing slimmer jeans and a pair of chelsea boots causes an issue you have to wonder what friends they are.

    Making some changes to your clothing and image sound a very good idea. If you are happier with how you look, you're likely to be happier generally. And a few compliments on your clothes are always nice.

  4. #4
    Nath6644's Avatar

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    I'm surprised more people have not replied to this post.

    As a teenager, I was subject to all sorts of mental health problems. Consequently, I relate quite strongly to the phenomenon you are speaking of. I certainly experienced a 'loss of identity' in those years. It's still something I'm battling now. But the role of your appearance is something that you should never ignore in this process.

    First piece of advice I would give is: wear what you feel comfortable. On some days that might be a three piece suit. On another, it might be a hoody and some skinny jeans. Don't take things too seriously. Clothes are clothes. They are appropriate for difference occasions and purposes, and what matters most is what makes you feel comfortable.
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  5. #5
    Nat

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    There are several issues in here Naboo, but the main thing (to reiterate Nath) is to be comfortable. Not so much physically comfortable (because that will lead you back to loose-fit jeans, baggy tshirts and beat-up trainers), but mentally comfortable - make sure that you feel like yourself when you get dressed, and that you are not just mimicking some celebrity or model that you've seen. A related point is that personal style evolves, and that takes time. That's cool though - all part of the journey. My tastes have changed a lot over the past 5 years even, so be prepared to experiment and have changes of mind. You are still young enough to do this, so go for it. Just don't go and spend 400 on that pink suit just yet!

    Generally my advice would be to start with really nailing some key looks. Nothing too flashy. Invest in key staples - decent slim jeans and chinos, nice versatile kitwear and tailoring, a couple of good outwear pieces, a few good-quality pairs of shoes. What you will find is that, if you shop smart, these items will be very versatile, and you will be able to combine them to create lots of different outfits. Once you have the foundations laid and you are happy with that, you can start branching out and experimenting a bit more - accessories, brighter colours etc.

    If you develop your own personal style, it will help with your identity and mental health issues, I am sure. It has helped with me. That said, try not to over-focus on it. Clothes are just one aspects of your style, and appearances are not the be-all and end-all anyway.

    And as for your friends, yes you might get some stick, but it's only because they are jealous! Underlying that will be a respect and admiration for how you present yourself. I am always getting the piss taken out of me, even for things as simple as pocket squares, and yet they will acknowledge that I am the best-dressed man they know. And then they will start coming to your for advice - I had a half-hour conversation with one of my mates about shoes the other day, which resulted in him buying a pair of oxblood brogues. He was as surprised as I was!

    Good luck, and post your progress on this forum. At least we understand each other, even if no-one else does!

  6. #6

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    I'm 22, and I found that when I started dressing smarter and taking more care in my appearance, yes I got some 'banter', but some of my friends also followed suit. Both literally and metaphorically. Dress however you want my friend, wear it with confidence and your own sense of style and you can't go wrong.

  7. #7

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    I have edited this post as however it was useful it is no longer relevant.
    Last edited by Naboo; 18-12-2013 at 04:20 PM.

  8. #8
    Nat

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    Quote Originally Posted by Naboo View Post
    . I'm currently in the process of shifting some of the weight gained as a result of sitting around feeling sorry for myself so didn't make any purchases just yet but hopefully will very soon!
    That is very wise. There was an article on here a while back about planning your wardrobe. I think that's the biggest thing this site has given me - it has just made me generally more considered about what I buy and how I dress. I now have a wish-list, and don't buy anything that isn't on it. This has saved me hundreds on impulse purchases, and is great if you are on a budget. I did make an exception for a rather stunning pair of shoes recently, but I'm only human!

  9. #9

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    I have edited this post as it is no longer relevant.
    Last edited by Naboo; 18-12-2013 at 04:20 PM.

  10. #10

    Fashionisto
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    Great post mate, made my evening!!

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