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  1. #1
    Benvolio's Avatar

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    Wedding attire advice - with pictures!

    Hi there,

    My name is Benvolio and I am looking for a little bit of advice on what to wear for a wedding. I have been asked to attend a wedding to support a person I am working with (I work in the caring profession). The wedding is in mid-May; a church do, followed by sit-down meal at a local hotel and then evening affair.

    The wedding dress-code is regular formal/casual for guests. Because I am going in a professional capacity, I have been told that it doesn't matter what I wear! However, I disagree! I think that the person I am supporting is going to feel less obvious (about being supported) if I just look like a regular guest and not wearing "jeans and a shirt'll do". I would also like to make a bit of an effort, but without looking like I have made...an effort, if that makes sense? I am just going to support this person, after all! I would just like to look a little bit interesting...

    I don't really know much (anything) about styles etc, so have done a bit of reading around, utilised what I already own and bought a few bits and bobs to add to it and created an outfit that I thin will suffice - make me look like I have made an effort, may be a bit of an impression, but without looking like I have gone out of my way... if that makes sense? I am only going in a professional capacity, but a couple of "Ooo, you look smart" wouldn't go a miss!

    Here are the pictures:

    What do people think? I'm not looking for much more than "yep, appropriate for a spring wedding" or "no, try this...".

    This is the complete outfit... Not sure about the shoes? Bit scruffy? The jacket is blue herringbone design. Would a suit have been better? I didn't really want to wear a suit, but...
    Also, you can see the different shades of gray/blue... does this matter?


    I got the tie online (from House of Fraser). I actually bought a few knitted tires in different shades of blue... I think they're a bit boring... Even the one I have on, is too, don't you think? A bit 'businessy'? Suggestions/advice would be appreciated as I need to post what I don't want back to them within 14 days!


    Hopefully you get an idea of the outfit in this picture... The trousers fit perfectly without a belt, so I don't think I need one, do you?


    Now, the waistcoat came from eBay and only cost 18 (from Hong Kong!!). I didn't have to have a waistcoat, but I quite liked the idea, what do people think? The white 'pocket square' is just a sewn in bit. I am really slim, so and it's the only one that fitted me snuggly enough to give a sense of 'fit'. It is a different shade of gray to the trousers - does this matter?


    The combination of shirt/jacket/tie/waistcoat matches OK - what do you think? However, I am wondering if it's not enough for a spring wedding? Maybe it's a bit 'businessy'? I decided I quite liked the idea of wearing a knitted tie as opposed to a silk one, so unless it's a major 'no-no', then I'll stick with that material? I went for a shade of blue (with white dots to match the colour), but perhaps I should be a bit more daring with the tie? Maybe a red or burgundy? I don't want to be outlandish, but at the same time I don't want to look like I am just an smart businessman going to the office (I wear jeans and shirts at work) - which would be inappropriate for a hopefully sunny spring wedding... What are peoples' thoughts?


    I quite like the shirt. It wasn't expensive, I bought it ages ago and is slim fit (which is great for a skinny person like me - and for wearing a fitted waistcoat with!). It's blue, but if you look closely, it has fine blue stripes... Views...? It has a button sleeves, rather than cuffs... That's OK, though, isn't it...


    You can see the shoes... Bit worn and bazzy, aren't they? I am not sure they're the correct colour, are you? I could go for black (would match the buttons of my waistcoat and jacket)... Or, I could go for very dark brown - maybe a suede? Again, something interesting - slightly unconventional (read, not boring!). I think I prefer slip-on/loafers to shoes with laces...?


    (The trousers, I think (?) are worn a smidgin too short here, but the longer size are too long and they didn't have my waist size. It isn't a problem as I can just pull the waist down a little and it is fine).

    So, what do you all think? I have plenty of time to change things - and if it's "fine" then I'll leave it - so please do feel free to tear it apart. It will be an interesting learning experience as I am completely new to this stylish dressing malarkey!!

    I can provide more photos, if it will be helpful.

    I am surprisingly concerned about this now, so some much needed guidance would be really good!

    Benvolio :0)
    Last edited by Benvolio; 30-03-2014 at 12:05 PM.

  2. #2
    DorianGrape's Avatar

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    Everything here looks at least a size too big for you.

  3. #3
    Benvolio's Avatar

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    Lol, oh dear! Well, I can't get any smaller sizes - they don't exist! Plus, most of it needs ironing, so that may make it look a bit baggy. I lost a fair bit of weight over the previous months due to illness, but am putting it back on now, so that might help...

    Anyway, ignore the size for the time being if we can... What about the overall outfit? Appropriateness, colour, matching etc...?


  4. #4
    Des

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    Quote Originally Posted by Benvolio View Post
    Anyway, ignore the size for the time being if we can...
    You can't. Unfortunately it's the most important aspect. Colour, matching etc.. isn't really worth anything before that.

  5. #5
    Benvolio's Avatar

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    I understand that and I'll sort out the size issue, but given that this is what I have at the moment, then what do people think of the colours and appropriateness?

    If the size was OK, would the outfit be OK?

    (Does it really look that bad? I honestly will not be able to find a smaller size, unless I go for kids sizes... I know I said not to focus on that for now... But getting a little worried )
    Last edited by Benvolio; 30-03-2014 at 04:07 PM.

  6. #6

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    A few thoughts..

    - I don't think the loafers are a good choice. They are a bit too casual for my liking for a wedding when the rest of your attire isnt casual.
    - It looks like the tie is wearing you. Get a slimmer tie or do a different knot atleast
    - Don't like the waistcoat much.
    - The shirt looks fine albeit a bit big - but you are aware of fit etc..
    - Jacket looks okay aswell in my eyes
    - Something annoys me a bit about the trousers and jacket being so close in colour without matching..
    - Wear a belt - in brown

    Ideas:
    - Maybe try different pants
    - Ditch the waistcoat
    - Have other shoes?

  7. #7

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    In all honesty I dont think it works great, but if these are your items I would:

    Do a proper Windsor knot in the tie and do the top button up
    Leave out the waist coat
    Wear grey socks
    Give the shoes a deep clean and polish
    Wear a brown belt
    Take the entire outfit to the tailors to be tapered fitted (will cost approx 60-80)

  8. #8
    Benvolio's Avatar

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    Wedding attire advice - with picTURES!

    Right... I didn't think what I was wearing was that bad! lol - but I guess my audience here is a little more... discerning! (if I am honest, I thought I looked really smart...)

    I actually think I agree with you with regards to the jacket and trousers - bit odd.

    I chose not to wear a brown belt - I do have one - because I saw an article, perhaps on here(?) saying not to wear one! So a bit confused on that... Also, the problem I have with belts is I am very slim with boney hips, which means my stomach goes in and I can't tighten my belt any tighter. This leaves an unavoidable gap between my belt/trousers and stomach, which makes the buckle of the belt hang down in front a little, as if it were loose...

    Totally with you on the shoes - too scruffy!

    I'll take the ties (I bought more than one colour) back to the shop, then. I used a 'four in hand knot' to tie the tie, which seems to be recommended for a knitted tie...it seems to be the slimmest knot, too? I do like the idea of wearing a knitted tie - it's a bit more interesting... I suppose I can look for a skinny knitted tie...? In fact, do I need to wear a tie at all? I sort of like the idea of wearing a tie - and it kind of feels a bit too casual not to...

    Do people think I should ditch any waistcoat, or just this one? I do like the idea of wearing a waistcoat, to be honest... Is there any way round wearing one - if I can get one fitted enough (to be fair, this one is definitely fitted, even if it doesn't look like it is in the pictures...

    Here is a close up of the tie/shirt/waistcoat/jacket combo:


    People still not a fan...?

    OK, this is me - bad photo, but with/without jacket and no waistcoat...




    But anyway, looks like I'm a bit of a fashion disaster! (I'm kidding - it's not that bad and I did ask!)

    So, if we completely forgot about my outfit for a moment...

    I am attending a laid back, smart/casual wedding in mid-May. It's a church/sit down meal/evening affair. I am attending to support someone - work related. I want to look appropriate, smart, maybe a bit of a 'ooo, you look smart' - a bit interesting; I don't want to look like I've just bought a standard suit, shirt and tie - I don't want to look samey and boring! I would quite to wear a tie and would do like the idea of a knitted one - to be different... But am open to suggestions...

    I do like the idea of a waistcoat (if I can get one fitted enough) - can I get away with one?

    I could just nip to next and by a trouser/(waistcoat?)/jacket suit... I am not trying to stand out (that's for the bride of course), I just don't want to be boring... I don't want to look like a debenhams/next/john lewis suit model!

    I would like to spend as little as possible if I can get away with it. 300 is ridiculously high, but if it's necessary...

    What do we think?

    Edit: Why are people so against the waistcoat? Is it just this waistcoat - or any waistcoat? Also, my top button is done up. Wouldn't a windsor knot be even thicker than the one I have - and thus risking 'wearing me' even more?

    I am happy to go without a waistcoat - and a knitted tie, if people are really dead against the idea...
    Last edited by Benvolio; 30-03-2014 at 08:24 PM.

  9. #9

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    Well the first rule of dressing is always to wear what you like, and what you feel comfortable in. If you think you look smart in the outfit as is, and like it, then you should ignore us all and wear it.

    As for the belt, this is very easily solved for about 1, simply get a new hole punched in and then you'll be able to do it up without the gap.

    As for the tie, the tie itself isn't the problem, the problem is the untidy knot. The knot is huge and isn't done up properly against the collar, there is a big gap. If you go to google images and type knitted tie, there are lots of pictures of what a knitted tie knot should and could look like.

    The waistcoat looks too short and if I am personally honest, it looks cheap. Under the jacket is doesn't look so bad, but definitely do not wear it alone without a jacket.

    All in my opinion of course !

  10. #10

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    Man, thats a lot of mental masturbation - if you know what I mean

    In my opinion you have some good items and some bad. Rid the outfit of the bad and build on the good.

    - The jacket looks pretty good - keep that for sure. The shirt does look fine too - although it wouldnt hurt if it was put in a bit.

    - It looks like you didnt have a pair of pants that matches the jacket, so you picked some that is almost the same tone - because the colors are so alike, but not the same, its confusing. It could be the pictures - if the jacket is more blue in real life, it could work

    - Try perhaps finding a pair of darker pants or go for a statement with some color.

    - As creed says, the knot is terrible (sorry) but it also looks like its a very wide knitted tie, which makes it really hard to tie a decent slim knot. Four in hand is fine

    - What about getting a pocket square? I love wearing all sorts of different colored/patterned pocket squares - gives the whole outfit a lift

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