"A Slave To Fashion..."

[Nath6644]

The title to this thread is a direct quote uttered by my mum on several occasions. The words usually preceed or follow a long rant about my clothes addiction and the way my appearance dominates the way I approach the world. For my mum, and for many others, fashion is seen not only as a form of vanity, but as the territory of the insecure and obscessive. I thought this would be an interesting, and revealing discussion to have. It doesn't hurt that I'm stuck in my flat alone with nothing to do.

SO, what I'm really want to discuss are these few issues:

- what motivates you to want to be fashionable?

-do you ever regret this motivation? Do you ever feel guilty or self-indulgent in your obsession over your appearance?

- do you agree with the cliche that an obsession with looks reflects inherent insecurity? Or is your desire to dress well an EXTENSION of your confidence and extrovertism?

[Leighton]

I feel fashion is a way to express myself, moreover I believe in the quote "If you look good, you feel good". The same idea goes with my body-building obsession, my canvas in my body and therefore my art is my controllable appearance. Overall it's just a step forward to creating a better me.
In a sense I can see it being seen an insecurity, but an insecurity of not presenting myself and being the best person I feel I can be. Why would i want to be anything less?

[Nat]

Good thread....

I wouldn't say I'm "fashionable" per se. I try to buy items that will transcend trends as much as possible. Plus, I'm definitely not going to be the one to pioneer that mustard yellow pea coat! (Though I wish I could)

In terms of your thread though, it's the same issue - I care a lot about how I look. This is quite a recent thing for me though - only in the past year or so have I really made a concerted effort to build my wardrobe and give serious thought to my style. I think about it quite a lot, and read FB every day!!

Tbh, I think that the more I have gotten into my appearance, the more I worry about my appearance, and I'm not sure it's altogether healthy. That said, I am now much more confident in howI look, and am often the best-dressed person in my group. I also get lots of compliments from people, which I never got before - and that is addictive.

So yeah, I do think it's at least partly narcissistic, and can lead to unhealthy tendencies, but I don't think that it necessarily has to be that way, in and of itself. I guess we all need to be aware of out natural tendencies and imbalances.

[Nath6644]

I feel fashion is a way to express myself, moreover I believe in the quote "If you look good, you feel good". The same idea goes with my body-building obsession, my canvas in my body and therefore my art is my controllable appearance. Overall it's just a step forward to creating a better me.
In a sense I can see it being seen an insecurity, but an insecurity of not presenting myself and being the best person I feel I can be. Why would i want to be anything less?

I like the idea that taking care of your appearence is as form of self-improvement. My wrestling with style has been a journey of sorts. If I look back on how I used to dress (skinny jeans, hipster, horrible jumpers), I cringe and can hardly look at photos. But I do think I'm getting there, and I do believe my style is starting to reflect my true self alot more (smart but slightly dandy)

[Nath6644]

Good thread....

I wouldn't say I'm "fashionable" per se. I try to buy items that will transcend trends as much as possible. Plus, I'm definitely not going to be the one to pioneer that mustard yellow pea coat! (Though I wish I could)

In terms of your thread though, it's the same issue - I care a lot about how I look. This is quite a recent thing for me though - only in the past year or so have I really made a concerted effort to build my wardrobe and give serious thought to my style. I think about it quite a lot, and read FB every day!!

Tbh, I think that the more I have gotten into my appearance, the more I worry about my appearance, and I'm not sure it's altogether healthy. That said, I am now much more confident in howI look, and am often the best-dressed person in my group. I also get lots of compliments from people, which I never got before - and that is addictive.

So yeah, I do think it's at least partly narcissistic, and can lead to unhealthy tendencies, but I don't think that it necessarily has to be that way, in and of itself. I guess we all need to be aware of out natural tendencies and imbalances.

It sounds like we have alot in common. I too try to buy simple, versitile clothes that transcend trends and style has also been a relatively recent thing for me. I have also experienced that wierd mix of boosted confidence but also slight insecurity. When I feel I look good, the world is my oyster! But if a hair is out of place, or I feel my clothes are clashing, I want to hide away sometimes.

It's a strange mix of vanity and underconfidence, but maybe thats just being a young person in the 21st century.

[William Colman]

I have come to terms with the fact that I am a mostly superficial and visual person, I am a undeniably vain but in a good way, I take care of my appearance because I realise just how much of an influence it has on the people around me and how much of an impact looking good can have on all aspects of life. For example, I'm currently looking for a part time job, in a town of two universities (totaling around 35,000 students) the market is pretty tight, but I've already had 3 interviews and a great deal of interest from others, which I believe stems very much from the way I dress, my appearance is considered and it reflects the person.

I've come to terms with the fact that some of my friends just don't understand my attitude, I was laughed at for telling one chap to moisturise after he said his skin was drying out. I brylcreem my hair which of course gives it a very particular look, they find that funny, its too far past the jeans and t shirt look that they pull off to be of any worth.

In any case, I actually like my attitude towards my appearance, it shows I care and that is all that matters, I would however draw the line at checking myself in as many reflective surfaces as possible; I am just about managing to avoid combing my hair in a Grease like manner in public places, but it is a struggle, I try to leave it until I go to the bathroom, but I did catch myself combing in a coffee shop yesterday.

[Nath6644]

I have come to terms with the fact that I am a mostly superficial and visual person, I am a undeniably vain but in a good way, I take care of my appearance because I realise just how much of an influence it has on the people around me and how much of an impact looking good can have on all aspects of life. For example, I'm currently looking for a part time job, in a town of two universities (totaling around 35,000 students) the market is pretty tight, but I've already had 3 interviews and a great deal of interest from others, which I believe stems very much from the way I dress, my appearance is considered and it reflects the person.

I've come to terms with the fact that some of my friends just don't understand my attitude, I was laughed at for telling one chap to moisturise after he said his skin was drying out. I brylcreem my hair which of course gives it a very particular look, they find that funny, its too far past the jeans and t shirt look that they pull off to be of any worth.

In any case, I actually like my attitude towards my appearance, it shows I care and that is all that matters, I would however draw the line at checking myself in as many reflective surfaces as possible; I am just about managing to avoid combing my hair in a Grease like manner in public places, but it is a struggle, I try to leave it until I go to the bathroom, but I did catch myself combing in a coffee shop yesterday.

I think you've raised a good point, which is whether a concern with the visual is neccessarily a superficial thing.

My friends don't get it either most of the time, I still get laughed at for spending an hour deciding what to wear and get mocking calls of "joey essex" when I slick my hair back.

As for the combing thing, I've perfected a kind of movement with my hand where I sweep my hair back with my fingers. Looks casual, no one notices

[William Colman]

I do try the sneaky hand smooth, but my hair is so thick that only a comb will get it back into place.

[Nat]

As for the combing thing, I've perfected a kind of movement with my hand where I sweep my hair back with my fingers. Looks casual, no one notices

LOL was just doing that very thing as I read this!

Interesting discussion - is a desire to look good necessarily superficial? I certainly don't think of myself in those terms.

Nath you're so right about a mix of vanity and underconfidence! Bit of a paradox really...

[Sam]

I just want to look like I smell amazing.