Modern menswear isn’t kind to the peacock. In our minimalist sneakers and block-colour tailoring, we’re all guilty of side-eyeing the man who dresses like a billboard. But there’s a time for everything, in moderation. Even flash.
While we’d still steer you away from football pundit suiting, there are certain areas shininess serves you well. If you’re going to be brash (and, with a bonus burning up your pocket, why not?) your wrist is the place to start.
Six-figure timepieces may be a financial pipe dream, but there’s nothing wrong in aiming for the horological stars. A white tee, dark jeans and swaggering wrist trophy make the kind of statement that speaks louder than words.
Rotonde De Cartier L’Heure Mysterieuse Manual
Cartier is connoisseur’s choice; for over a century, the brand’s crafted exquisite jewellery that makes the Crown Jewels look like an Elizabeth Duke sale.
The Rotonde de Cartier was first created in the early 20th century and the maison has since fine-tuned it to perfection, adding an 18-carat rose gold case, brown alligator strap and hands that appear to float free over the iconic dial. One complication not mentioned in the marketing spiel: the ability to grab every eye in the room.
Available at The Watch Gallery, priced £41,600.
Gucci G-Timeless Automatic Chrono
The refined horologist may sniff at timepieces made by fashion brands, but there’s no denying the Gucci logo’s cache. It helps that the brand’s watches aren’t the usual mass-produced cash-ins.
For your outlay you get a Swiss made automatic chronograph on a statement-making steel bracelet, with sapphire crystal and the kind of open caseback more common in haute horlogerie. Italians definitely do it better.
Available at Gucci, priced £1,580.
Vacheron Constantin Patrimony Traditionnelle
It may not have the brand cache of a Rollie on your wrist among the unwatched masses, but Vacheron Constantin is the kind of brand that sends a true horologist into paroxysms of pleasure. With a heritage that stretches back to 1755, the modern brand specialises in highly engineered, even more highly sought-after timepieces rich in Swiss tradition.
The Patrimony Traditionnelle doesn’t buck that trend. The world-time zone indicator may look complicated (it kind of is), but this iconic design has inspired a legion of rip-offs in the watch world. Nothing makes a statement like repping the OG.
Available at The Watch Gallery, priced £37,400.
Hublot Classic Fusion
Favoured by footballers and financiers alike, the Hublot Classic Fusion changed perceptions of fine watches. While the old guard often sniff at the porthole design and generous use of titanium, the Classic Fusion inarguably provides impact on your wrist.
Though not as outré as the rest of Hublot’s range – the Big Bang, for example, more than earns its bombastic moniker – this comparatively sober option still holds wrist trophy status.
Available at The Watch Gallery, priced £3,900.
88 Rue Du Rhone 42mm Chrono Rose Gold
Rose gold is always trending, but pairing it with black is the season’s biggest watch trend. The contrast also ensures your bling pops, as does the logo on the dial; Rue du Rhone is Geneva’s luxury shopping mecca, and the brand named after it is an offshoot of one of Swiss watchmaking’s big dogs, Raymond Weil.
This chronograph comes in an attention-grabbing (but not oversized) 42mm case, with the gold detailing echoed on the hands and numerals. It’s a watch that looks money, but won’t break the bank.
Available at TIC Watches, priced £565.
Any brand worn by Sly Stallone and Arnie automatically earns trophy status. Officine Panerai watches were first devised for Italian Navy officers but have since transitioned to high-worth wrists. Ideally, ones accustomed to the weights room; the Luminor comes in at a punchy 44mm.
The OP VIII in particular channels the original brand with a modern update: the independent GMT hand, magnified date display at 3 o’clock, screw-down caseback and a 24-hour scale to the outer dial all demand atten-shun!
Available at Watch Finder, priced £4,950.
Audemars Piguet Royal Oak Offshore Grande Complication
It might seem gauche to wander around with half-a-million pounds on your wrist, but rest assured that you’ll never need to wait for a restaurant reservation again.
The Grande Complication lives up to the name: minute repeater, perpetual calendar, split-seconds chronograph, week indication and moon-phase indicator with 648 components and white gold hour markers. Rick Ross would be proud.
Available at The Watch Gallery, priced £547,000.