Runways are aspirational. If they’re not influencing fast fashion retailers, they make us scrimp and save for that one designer piece, be it a backpack, pocket square or jacket.

But what if money was no object? Some brands seek out the uber-wealthy, those that buy into exclusivity: to them, two grand on a holdall is mere lunch money. But there’s little point in purchasing if any old pleb can buy it.

To satisfy these tastes, you need a certain breed of more-is-more designer, who create Midas-ready wares that are more about tax avoidance than taste.

Fortune Favours The Gold

In a bid to woo women (and one that cost him around £200k), Mr Datta Phuge commissioned a shirt made entirely out of gold. And it took 15 goldsmiths two weeks, working 16 hours a day, to complete.

The garish piece did quite the opposite though. He was killed by a gang over a money dispute, soon after posing for publicity shots with his new trophy. Let this be a lesson: Tinder is free.

Jean Wilder

Quality jeans need to be durable, comfortable, versatile and diamond-encrusted. Sorry, what?

Secret Circus, a brand with an inkling for bling, has created a pair of denims that stand at a whopping $1.3 million. All because the back pockets and legs are bejewelled with diamonds, emeralds and rubies. We’ll stick to Levi’s, thanks.

Smarty Pants

Third date territory calls for more than multipack purchase pants. That said, woven boxer shorts from Hermès are not designed for heated tugs of passion.

For $500, you’d perhaps expect a self-warming function. Or perhaps even to be self-cleaning or self-fastening. Not merely comfortable. It’s a plain underwear rip off (and not in a good way).

Fashion Thrilla

The world’s most expensive coat wasn’t from the house of Balmain, Versace or Prada, but the Neverland Ranch.

Michael Jackson’s iconic Thriller jacket went for a cool $1.8 million in a private auction, hopefully to someone who knows the dance routine by heart.

Pure Sole

Tom Ford is one of the most skilled designers of our time. And such talent usually costs hundreds, if not thousands.

That said, his ready-to-wear line seems suddenly accessible in comparison with Ford’s bespoke, one-off loafers. Encrusted with over 14,000 diamonds, the shoes took over a year to complete and were first worn by Nick Cannon on America’s Got Talent.

Two million dollars. For America’s Got Talent. The mind boggles.

Croc ‘n’ Load

Exotic skins are expensive. And they’re a big sticking point for PETA because, y’know, torture. Well, better stock up on the red paint as Domenico Vacca created the world’s most expensive travel bag. And it’s made entirely from alligator skin.

Worth a staggering $48,000, the best part is how normal it looks. This is just a travel bag with front zip pockets and a removable strap, designed to get you from A to B. If A is the Antilles and B is Beverly Hills.

Watch The Throne

Fine watches are a pursuit of the fabulously wealthy. Patek Philippe models clock up a pretty sum at auction, and even an entry-level Swiss timepiece is worth at least a month’s rent.

But a pocket watch commissioned by a former lover of Marie-Antoinette, in the Court of Versailles, will get you more than a bog-standard two-bed. In fact, for £25 million, you could probably buy most of your hometown. Let them eat cake.

Darth Shader

Your first pair of Ray-Bans receive special treatment. They’re more protective than a Magaluf beach bargain and, as such, are kept safe in their little leather pouch.

The Mayback ‘Diplomat I’ model deserves its own vault. Worth $60,000, these monsters come with precious stones engraved to the arms and 18-carat yellow gold frames. Probably not one for the BOGOF bar down the strip.

Strong Suit

Thought Savile Row would be home to the most expensive suit on the planet? Well, you thought wrong.

Liverpool, the birthplace of WAGs and Paul McCartney, is home to a two-piece designed by master tailor Stuart Hughes. And the $892,500 price tag includes 480 diamonds that are stitched throughout the pockets and lapels. A bit like a pearly king, but actually rich.