We’ve reached peak grooming. As if glitter beards and Scouse brows for blokes weren’t bad enough, there’s a new trend to end all trends (and cause a face-palm of biblical proportions in the process): a ‘boyzilian’.

It doesn’t take a genius to work it out. As a very clever portmanteau likely dreamed up by some blue skies marketing team in LA, a ‘boyzilian’ is the art – or should we say form of torture – of going completely hairless on the holy trinity of sac, back and crack.

Even more shocking is the number of men that would consider it. According to a 1,000-man survey by Wilkinson Sword, 58 per cent have either tried it or would do so in the future if a loved one asked.

Sorry, but if your significant other isn’t happy with a regular trim, then they’re not your soulmate: they’re a sadomasochist.