Victorinox Inox Carbon Watch

As if the Inox from Swiss Army knife kings Victorinox wasn’t indestructible enough (before launch it was tested by being run over by a tank, set on fire and put through a washing machine), the watch just received a major update. Now made from a resin composite material used to protect space shuttles as they re-enter atmospheres, it can also withstand temperatures of 1,260 degrees Celsius. The ideal holiday watch for a spot of space tourism.

Available at Victorinox, priced £795.

Ron Dorff x Martone Cycling Co. Bicycle

French-Swedish athleisure guru Ron Dorff has teamed up with fashion and cycling entrepreneur Lorenzo Martone to create this minimalist hipster dream-bike. Tailor-made for city cycling, it weighs a mere 12 kilos and features puncture-resistant tires, automatic gear changing, plus a basket with enough room for a triple, venti, soy, no foam latte and Macbook.

Available from 1 April at Ron Dorff, priced £1,250.

Tom Dixon Slant Stool

Tom Dixon has long been a left-field designer, but his latest product takes the leaning quite literally. The made-to-order Slant stool is crafted from a featherweight polymer but is a heavyweight statement piece that even comes with its own steel shadow. Just be sure to avoid it on a hangover.

Available at Tom Dixon, priced £380.

Unicorn Smartboard

Fancy yourself as the next Phil ‘The Power’ Taylor, but knowledge in the maths department letting you down? This Bluetooth-powered smart-dartboard tots up the 180s all the way down to zero via an app, meaning you can score a Shanghai without relying on your mates’ pint-affected subtraction skills.

Available at Unicorn Smartboard, priced £250.

Wrensilva Loft

San Diego-based sound specialist Wrensilva has done the (seemingly) impossible in creating a retro-styled record console that’s small on size but big on sound. Despite compacting all the clout of its full-size sound system into this notably smaller model, the Loft still features 300-watt amps, a top-notch turntable and full Sonos functionality.

Available at Wrensilva, priced £2,466.

Bugatti Luxury Yacht

When the creator of the most powerful production super sports car teams up with Monaco’s premier sports yacht company, the result is never going to be a restrained affair. This $2.2m (£1.8m) concept from Bugatti and Palmer Johnson includes all the excessive mod cons the humble billionaire could need – a champagne bar, in-built jacuzzi, fire pit and leather-seated sun deck as standard.

Sonic Editions Framed Jim Morrison Print

Pay tribute to music royalty without sex, drugs or smashing up your living room thanks to this framed print of Doors lead singer Jim Morrison. The 1967 image, taken in San Francisco by Rolling Stone magazine’s first chief photographer, Baron Wolman, captures the anguish of a troubled frontman without incurring the wrath of your partner.

Available at Mr Porter, priced £300.

i.Con Smart Condom

By now, most TVs, watches and phones have been upgraded to ‘smart’ equivalents, so it’s finally time to bring the mod-cons to your coc… bedroom. i.Con’s smart-condom is less of a sheath, more a smart-ring that sits at the base of your member (so no, you don’t have to empty it out). From there, it uses nanosensors to monitor calories burnt, thrust speed and even the duration of your last sesh.

Available at British Condoms, priced £59.99.

Royal Doulton Season Decanter Set

Mad Men may be well and truly history, but we’re still longing for the days of Don Draper decanters. Just as well, then, that they’re making a comeback. This crystal-cut glass set from historic English firm Royal Doulton will give any fine whisky a suitable home (or help hide the evidence that it’s really supermarket own-brand).

Available at Selfridges, priced £60.