We are a nation of dog lovers. In 2017, just shy of 90 million pooches populated US homes – up from 68 million in 2000, according to Statista. It makes sense, then, to shop accordingly.

So whether you have a pal with a pup, or are window-shopping for your own furry friend, here is a wide-ranging compendium of cool and genuinely useful canine gifts.

1. A tepee bed that’s both portable and baller.

Dogs sleep for an average of 12-14 hours every day, so you better make sure that Rex is cozy. The VIILER Washable Pet House Tent is a lightweight den that’s snug as hell, with the added bonus of making your pup look a bit like a celebrity.

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Everything bar the wooden poles are machine washable, and no weekend away or Thanksgiving family visit will leave the dog without a bed again, as the tepee is easily folded down to fit in a carry-on bag.

VIILER Washable Pet House Tent, $49.99 from Amazon

2. Try not to eat this bacon ice cream.

Eating ice cream in front of a dog is hard work. Not only do they shoot you their very sweetest ‘feed me’ face, but they won’t stop whining until they get a taste. But our four-legged friends aren’t built for dairy, and it can often lead to gas, bloating or a redecoration of your living room. To that end, Puppy Scoops Ice Cream Mix for Dogs is a game-changer – you simply add water, mix and freeze.

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A perfect way to chill a hungry, panting dog in the summer, without the casual diarrhoea. The natural, healthy recipe tastes of maple bacon. Or so we’ve uh, heard.

Puppy Scoops Ice Cream Mix for Dogs: Maple Bacon, $8.99 from Amazon

3. Wear your heart on your sole, with these dog socks.

It’s an unspoken rule that guys – almost exclusively – acquire socks at Christmas, whereas it’s also received wisdom that any dog owner is borderline infatuated with their pooch. Unite both by gifting these Lilbetter-Club Colorful Casual Socks to a friend, or go ahead and invest in your own feet for a change.

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With a variety of breeds across five pairs, these casual socks are loud, yet somehow not tacky, and silently signal where one stands in the whole ‘Dogs vs Cats’ debate.

Lilbetter-Club Colorful Casual Socks, $19.99 from Amazon

4. Help Rover pee as he pleases, with real, fresh, indoor grass.

Inner city dog lovers face a daily battle: gardens are an abstract concept, however dogs, famously, like to pee on everything in sight. Now, rather than traipse down flights of stairs whenever your canine companion needs to go, Fresh Patch Disposable Dog Potty brings the outside in.

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As seen on Shark Tank, Fresh Patch features hydroponically-grown grass, meaning the dog will instinctively want to ‘water’ it. Being real, it’s a natural odor killer, too. Your friend, and/or dog, will forever thank you.

Fresh Patch Disposable Dog Potty with REAL Grass, $19.00 from Amazon

5. Get the best, ’gram-worthy photos with this ingenious ‘selfie stick’.

At the time of writing, #dogsofinstagram has 112,123,601 posts. It’s safe to assume, then, that cute canines + social media = fine bedfellows. The secret of the perfect dog photo? It could well be Pooch Selfie.

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By virtue of a squeaky tennis ball that attaches to the top of your smartphone, the product all-but guarantees complete focus, plus a winning smile, from your dog. What’s more, the ball detaches, meaning each photoshoot can be followed by a hearty game of fetch.

Pooch Selfie: The Original Dog Selfie Stick, $9.99 from Amazon

6. Antsy pooch? Need some peace? Then stuff this sturdy toy full of treats.

This is, quite simply, a classic. So much so, for Kong Classic Dog Toy, the clue is in the name.

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A multi-functional toy, it can help with a dog’s separation anxiety, boredom, barking, teething and more, and makes for hours of fun. Simply load it up with your pup’s favorite food, then sit back as she valiantly tries to chew it all free.

Kong Classic Dog Toy, $12.95 from Amazon

7. You can now make dog breath a thing of the past.

For all a dog’s many, many, many, many positive traits, their mouths are an objectively gross biohazard. (Seriously, who knew that licking your genitals for the majority of each day would make your breath stink?) Well, Vante-Pooch Pooch Smooch vows to change that.

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As 90% of bad breath bacteria comes from the tongue, the innovative device sees nasty bacteria removed, as your dog licks peanut butter from a ball containing four scrapers and 1,500 bristles.

Vante-Pooch Pooch Smooch Bad-breath Eliminator for Dogs, $8.77 from Amazon

8. Collect $200 every time you pass Go Fetch! with this sweet board game.

Man’s best friend meets the world’s greatest board game (sorry, Trivial Pursuit): may we cordially introduce you to Dog-Opoly.

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Described by the makers as “a tail-wagging good time”, buy up your favorite breeds as you make your way around the board, then seek to buy Dog Houses or even Big Bones. Just don’t catch fleas, that’ll cost you $200, and risk triggering your real pooch.

Dog-Opoly, $16.25 from Amazon

9. Sniff out phantom pee stains with a UV light worth its weight in diamonds.

Even fully-grown, toilet-trained dogs suffer the odd accident (and by accident we mean passive aggressive FU), and catching a whiff of something they can’t track down can drive owners potty. But where dry pee would once prove surprisingly elusive, there is now Pet Detective UV Flashlight.

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Hit the lights, fire up the blacklight and be suitably shocked at where your dirty dog’s been splashing his undercover urine.

Pet Detective UV Flashlight, $7.93 from Amazon

10. Do go chasing waterfalls, by treating your pup to a classy tipple.

Dogs: cute as hell, yet sharp as a bowling bowl. And there is perhaps no finer example than the dog that drinks too fast, chokes, and spits up. The PetSafe Drinkwell Platinum Water Fountain helps solve this accident, with a free-falling trickle that encourages measured sips, not frantic glugs.

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What’s more, a 160oz water tank means you won’t refill every day, whereas the carbon filter guarantees optimum freshness. And who doesn’t want the very best H20 for Fido?

PetSafe Drinkwell Platinum Water Fountain, $44.95 from Amazon

11. #Resist in style by letting your pooch play fetch with POTUS.

Virtue signaling is a modern, if rather toxic, phenomenon, but who said stating your political allegiances couldn’t be done tongue in cheek? Or, more specifically, your dog sinking its teeth into the cheek of a stuffed version of President Trump? To that end, the Fuzzu Presidential Parody Dog Toy is a glorious piece of stuffed toy satire.

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Have a Republican hound? Don’t fret, you can also opt for Bill or Hillary Clinton, plus Bernie Sanders and Vladimir Putin.

Fuzzu Presidential Parody Dog Toy, $14.99 from Amazon

12. There’ll be no more staring once your dog steps up to the sofa.

To heavily paraphrase a famous movie title: small dogs can’t jump. Those that do are either freaks of nature, taking PEDs, or seriously risking the integrity of their spine. Avoid the inevitable (and funny) face-plant, and invest in a set of Dallas Manufacturing Co. Dog Steps.

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Made of dense cardboard, the stairs are incredibly light, yet can bear the load of a 150lb pooch. Padding brings extra comfort, and removes the risk of slipping.

Dallas Manufacturing Co. Dog Steps by Cozy Pet, $34.11 from Amazon

13. Breathe better and worry less with a cool pup planter.

Like dogs, plants are proven to reduce stress. Unlike dogs, they also boost productivity, absorb sound and clean the air. So, for the office-dwelling dog fan, there’s always SUN-E Corgi Dog Flower Pot.

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Entirely homemade, the cutesy corgi planter fits a small succulent plant, and can help quell the stress suffered at the office every day before getting home to your good boy.

SUN-E Corgi Dog Flower Pot, $6.80 from Amazon

14. Get beach doggy ready, by channeling Magnum P.I.

It’s a tale old as time: get a +1 to a summer BBQ, invite your dog friend, but his wardrobe choices are infuriatingly limited. No longer! Tail Trends Formal Dog Bandanas offer a range of summery, Hawaiian themed outfits for the dapper dog.

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With an around-the-neck fit that’s zero fuss, there is no cause to negotiate armholes with your skeptical hound. Once he starts clocking all the compliments, he’s more likely to growl if you try taking it off.

Tail Trends Formal Dog Bandanas with Hawaiian Vacation Prints, $14.99 from Amazon

15. You can now have a long-distance love-in with your pet.

Separation anxiety is real, for dogs and their owners alike. For those that suffer, the TOOGE Pet Camera is simply revolutionary.

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Wifi-connected and accessed via an app, the innovative camera boasts motion detection (for real-time activity alerts), two-way audio (for reassurance/rebuke) and night vision, meaning you and your pooch need never be parted.

TOOGE Pet Camera, $37.99 from Amazon

16. Just when you thought it’s impossible to love a dog more, make yours smell like cookies!

Over-bathing a dog can cause irritation – in the skin, but also the dog. But what to do when your furry friend stinks like a dumpster? As is often the case in life, the most attractive option is cookies. Seamus Sugar Cookie Pet Daily Spritz is a vet-recommended, water-based cologne that smells incredible.

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Unlike many sniff-or-you’ll-miss-it dog sprays, this one penetrates the skin and is slow-releasing, leaving your pup smelling freshly-baked for hours.

Seamus Sugar Cookie Pet Daily Spritz, $14.72 from Amazon

17. For the first time ever, you’ll love fetch more than your dog does.

Dogs are great, and their dedication to chase a ball is mighty admirable, yet for the chump that’s throwing it, things get tedious around the 30-second mark. In a welcome win for automation, the Nerf Dog Tennis Ball Blaster makes things simultaneously simpler and more awesome – pledging to “skyrocket tennis balls 50 feet into the air!”

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Compatible with any standard-sized – or smaller – tennis ball, the blaster comes equipped with four of its own, as well as adjustable power settings. Load, point, shoot, repeat.

Nerf Dog Tennis Ball Blaster Gift Set, $22.99 from Amazon

18. Striving for obedience? Get your mutt hooked on dog crack.

Anyone that continues to claim there’s no ‘catnip for dogs’, consider this your final warning. Pet Munchies Chicken Chips are not merely a canine equivalent, they’re effectively dog crack.

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It’s unknown whether it’s because they’re 100% natural, slow-roasted in real juices or made from high-quality breast meat, yet these small and mighty disks make good boys go bananas, and are perfectly shaped to cram into a Kong.

Pet Munchies Chicken Chips, $6.10 from Amazon

19. A kind and tasty antidote to the early-morning dog walk.

For the dog-loving caffeine junkie in your life (and we do mean human junkie, not furry, as this stuff’s poisonous to pooches), you could do worse than bestowing a Dog Lover Coffee Lover Gift Sampler Set.

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With eight different varieties – each bearing a delightfully punny name, such as ‘Morning Yip’, ‘Muddy Dog’ and ‘Wet Nose Nudge’ – it is the Venn diagram that unites thoughtful gifts with comedy.

Dog Lover Coffee Lover Gift Sampler Set, $32.95 from Amazon

20. Let your pooch chill in the sun, and keep your beverages cool.

Imagine being a dog in summer time. Imagine it! You’re covered in fur, can only sweat through your paw pads, and the only brief respite from the searing heat is to pant like, well, a dog. Woke owners, behold the Cool Pup Cooling Pet Bowl.

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A breeze to use, simply pop the insert in the freezer, then place it in the acrylic bowl with some water once your pup starts to pant. It’ll keep its contents, and your fur chum, cool for hours.

Cool Pup Cooling Pet Bowl, $19.47 from Amazon 

21. Light up bedtime with a 3D pup you’ll struggle to take your eyes off.

For the friend who loves dogs, or the dog that hates the dark, Rainbolights Dog Lover Night Light is a low on energy, yet sky high on aesthetics.

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Powered via the mains or USB, your pal’s bedroom, or dog’s den, will be suitably transformed, with a pup-heavy light show that – for dog fans, at least – genuinely rivals that time hologram-Tupac played Coachella.

Rainbolights Dog Lover Night Light, $21.95 from Amazon

22. Unleash your inner Gordon Ramsay and (bow) wow your dog.

You don’t eat at Taco Bell every day – tasty or not, your insides would promptly become a disaster area – so why treat your pooch’s diet any different? Instead of filling him with low-quality treats, why not go full MasterChef, and buy Le Dogue Food Grade Silicone Dog Paw and Bone Molds With Recipe Booklet.

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From dog biscuits and broth to frozen treats and flavored ice cubes, your dog won’t waste a crumb. You, on the other hand, will be stuffed with the smug satisfaction of being a gastronomic superhero.  

Le Dogue Food Grade Silicone Dog Paw and Bone Molds With Recipe Booklet, $13.99 from Amazon

23. Beat the winter chill with a slick, reversible jacket.

Anyone that has – or merely knows – a dog, at some stage assigned them a full-blown human personality. We’re talking hobbies, pet peeves, favorite TV shows, even their own voice. And should yours have a British accent, why not commit to the nonsense and treat him to a Kuoser Cozy Winter Coat.

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It’s totally reversible – one side plaid, the other waxed cotton – meaning that a costume change is possible whenever ‘your dog’ feels the time is right.

Kuoser Cozy Winter Coat, $14.99 from Amazon

24. Bask in the glory of Hollywood’s single greatest canine caper.

Forget Lassie, 101 Dalmations or the tear-inducing carnage that is Marley & Me, Wes Anderson’s Isle of Dogs is something of a rare beast – a dog-centric movie that’s not pure trash.

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Whether it’s your friend, your dog or yourself (and why not, you deserve it), the lucky viewer will learn of 12-year-old Atari Kobayashi’s quest to Trash Island, in the blind hope of being reunited with his beloved boye, Spots. And if that’s not enough to entice you: Bill Murray, Ed Norton, Jeff Goldblum and Bryan Cranston all voice pooches.

Isle of Dogs, $16.96 from Amazon

25. Embrace space, even if only for a minute or two.

For those super rare occasions where you feel you’ve had too much dog, don’t cruelly shut the door on Fido (he’ll think you’ve died, then make enough noise to reanimate your corpse), opt instead for Carlson Pet Products Lil’ Tuffy Expandable Gate.

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Durable, adjustable and with a built-in door, no tools are needed for setup. More importantly though, you can keep your eyes on your pup (and him you), while you both enjoy a few moments of downtime, prior to play resuming.

Carlson Pet Products Lil’ Tuffy Expandable Gate with Small Pet Door, $17.99 from Amazon

26. Consider the elements conquered.

For some dogs, wearing a raincoat is a personal affront. They’ll stare at you through their fur, and – with their eyes, obviously – say, ‘Seriously?’ However wet dogs are not simply an affront to their human counterparts, they wreak mud-based terrorism upon a home. But don’t let rain get in the way of a good time, stock your coat rack with the LESYPET Pet Dog Umbrella with Leash.

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It looks pretty funny, yet is totally functional – leaving your dog ready to roam in dry comfort, while not constricted by a waterproof jacket.

LESYPET Pet Dog Umbrella with Leash, $20.00 from Amazon

27. This book is conclusive proof that coloring is simultaneously relaxing, cute and awesome.

Despite its proven meditative benefits, the adult coloring fad has ebbed and flowed. One thing that’ll never die, mind you, is the love of a good canine. Ease your stress, or that of a friend, with Doodle Dogs Coloring Book for Adults.

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With 30 beautifully intricate designs of some dynamite breeds, you may find yourself losing hours to it. Or, if you have a dog, a few seconds.

Doodle Dogs Coloring Book for Adults, $6.98 from Amazon

28. You season your food, right? Then why shouldn’t your four-legged friend?

Every doggy’s different, and like some humans, some are fussy SOBs. Don’t let dinner become a battleground, simply add a sprinkle of seasoning for your picky pup. Basics FLAVORS Food Topper can be used either as seasoning or a broth (when mixed with water), and vows to get even the most discerning dogs on side.

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With four flavors – Red Meat, Peanut Butter, Chicken and White Cheddar – all of which are packed full of ‘human grade’ ingredients, the urge to knock back a spoon or two yourself may prove hard to fight.

Basics FLAVORS Food Topper for Dogs, $8.99 from Amazon

29. Of course you can get a Fitbit for your dog (and of course you immediately should).

The burgeoning obsession for wearable technology knows no bounds. And for the dog owner that can’t get enough of tracking their own step count or sleep quality, why not buy a matching one for Sparky? Ok, so Poof Pea Pet Activity Tracker isn’t a Fitbit, but in many respects it’s superior.

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With a 180-day battery, you can observe a pooch’s activity, its sleep quality, how many calories they burn on a walk, and also the precise amount of time spent lounging around. While the Pea is a tad larger than its namesake, it weighs a minuscule .25 oz, and is also fully waterproof.

Poof Pea Pet Activity Tracker, $30.99 from Amazon

30. Dog beer! Dog beer! Dog beer! Dog beer!

In other ‘of course that’s a thing’ news, Pet Winery Dog Beer exists, and it’s also rather brilliant.

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Ok, so there’s no actual alcohol – regardless of how funny a tipsy dog might be, it’s really not advisable – but this beef-flavored brew is 100% organic, and what it lacks in hops or carbonation, it more than makes up for in glucosamine, which is good for Spot’s joints.

Thirsty for more? The company also produces DoggieTea, wine, Champagne and Dogtini drinks.

Pet Winery Dog Beer, $7.96 from Amazon

31. A comical, canvas bag that’s just crying out to store dog treats.

Not all dog lovers are art fans, but the vast majority will dig a good pun. Enter Pet Studio Art, and its range of Funny Dog Tote Bags.

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Our favorite is ‘Barksy’ – a surprisingly spot-on spoof of everyone’s best-loved graffiti artist – although the ‘Dog Ross’, ‘Mean Dogs’ and ‘Official Pawparazzi’ canvas bags are also leading contenders.

Funny Dog Tote Bags, $14.99 from Amazon.

32. Ease your wet dog woes and stress alike, with a fragrant, odor-eating candle.

For those somehow yet to learn, here’s a public service announcement: dogs stink. Not only that, the homes in which they reside often reek something rotten, as their owners have grown ‘nose blind’ over time. For you, and for them, buy your dearest dog owner a Gerrard Larriett Aromatherapy Pet Care Soy Candle.

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Vet recommended, these babies come with 40-hour burn time, and the range of scents – Lavender & Chamomile, Boosting Cinammon and Nourishing Pomegranate among them – kills bad smells while melting stress.

Gerrard Larriett Aromatherapy Pet Care Soy Candle, $14.00 from Amazon

33. Get ready to say “It’s medicinal” a bunch.

You know that friend – the one that’s perma-stressed, crazy anxious and views social events as a trial, not a treat? Well, some dogs are like that. But unlike your human pal, you can’t mellow out Baxter with weed… can you? NutraVet Pure Organic Hemp Oil Extract begs to differ (sort of).

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As well as its promise to calm your anxious canine, the drops are shown to dramatically reduce inflammation and pain, increase mobility and make for more restful sleep, which we can all agree is dope.

NutraVet Pure Organic Hemp Oil Extract, $34.98 from Amazon

34. Don’t get caught short. Spend four bucks, potentially save thousands.

It’s not chic, it’s not sexy, but Pogi’s Pet Supplies Poop Bag Dispenser sorta represents the most thoughtful gift you could ever give a friend. (Provided they have a dog, that is, otherwise it’s pretty weird.)

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Some cities will fine dog owners upwards of $750 if they don’t clean up after their pooch, so should you forget a bag, you’re in deep… well, you know. This handy bone-shaped dispenser comes with a free roll, and attaches to a leash. Foolproof.

Pogi’s Pet Supplies Poop Bag Dispenser, $3.99 from Amazon

35. You might not be fun at parties, but my word you can keep dog food fresh.

Another unsexy yet desperately helpful offering is Comtim Pet Food Silicone Can Lids. Ok, so it probably shouldn’t be your dog owning friend’s main birthday gift, but given virtually all dog food cans don’t reseal, these things will soon pay for themselves.

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With its three rings, it can cover all universal tin sizes, whereas the silicone gel lid makes for a snug, flexible, yet airtight fit. This means the food inside won’t spoil nearly as quick, and you’ll preserve Lassie’s dinner, if not your friendship.  

Comtim Pet Food Silicone Can Lids, $7.59 from Amazon

36. It’s tie dye, but not as we know it.

If we’re being honest, dog owners (or ‘dog parents’, as some insist on calling themselves) are rarely shy when it comes to talking about their pups. So why not cut the talk, and bestow your friend with a legitimately stylish tee that says it all? The Mountain Greyhound Born to Run T-shirt is multicolored, tasteful and also very obvious.

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The company behind the design creates, dyes and prints each one in Marlborough, NH, and is keen to stress that all inks and dyes are water-based, environmentally friendly and free of harmful chemicals.

The Mountain Greyhound Born to Run T-shirt, $18.60 from Amazon

37. Don’t stifle your pup’s euphoria for a walk – harness it!

In their sheer, rapid haste to get to the park, some dogs literally choke themselves on their own leash. To erase the risk, the Rabbitgoo Dog Harness evenly distributes itself across a dog’s frame, ensuring that no pull from Fido is too harsh.

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Easy to put on, its reflective straps make for a night-safe mutt, whereas the heavy padding promises a comfy fit. In addition to two leash attachment points, there is also a handle for extra control.

Rabitgoo Dog Harness, $24.99 from Amazon

38. Triple the toys, triple the fun (and did we mention the dinosaurs?).

Who doesn’t love dinosaurs? Well, apart from a few Jurassic Park characters (RIP). Combine fetch and hide-and-go-seek with the dino-based IFOYO Dog Squeaky Toy, and your dog may never stop playing.

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With three noisy dinosaurs squeezed into an egg, you can stash each one in a different room, ask your pup to retrieve all three from within the egg, or merely throw the entire thing 20-feet in the sky, and allow the toys to fall where they may.

IFOYO Dog Squeaky Toy, $15.19 from Amazon

39. Hydrate your dog while on the move – no messing.

For the thirsty boye about town – but who can’t locate a fountain, puddle, or gushing fire hydrant – Tuff Pupper PupSipper Portable Dog Water Bottle is essentially a life saver.

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Fill up the compact bottle pre-walk, then decant your water into the attached bowl whenever Lucky gets parched. No more wasting half a gallon by pouring it on the sidewalk – and hoping your dog gets a lick or two – as this nifty little hydration hack is good to the last drop.

Tuff Pupper PupSipper Portable Dog Water Bottle, $10.89 from Amazon

40. High fashion kitchen-wear for dog lovers everywhere.

Much in the same way that any soccer fan worth their strike would wear their team’s jersey when having a kick-around in the park, a canine enthusiast shouldn’t own anything other than a Home-X Dog Print Apron when cooking up a storm in the kitchen.

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Featuring “bowsers of all breeds”, expect terriers and bulldogs, sheepdogs and shepherds, lap dogs and Labradors, all in a colorful cartoon style.

Home-X Dog Print Apron, $9.99 from Amazon