What do Dwayne ‘The Rock’ Johnson, Jason Statham and Vin Diesel have in common? Sure, there’s the unquestionable acting pedigree and careers that show just how good getting typecast can be (for your wallet at least), but there’s another common denominator shared by action’s most wanted: they’re all bald.
They’re bald, immensely successful and regularly top ‘sexiest men’ lists, proving you don’t need hair up top to get there. Here, we make the case for why you should embrace baldness, and how to do it in style.
Make The Most Of What You Have (Left)
Nothing brings the cringe quite like a man clinging to his hair for dear life (see Prince William, Billy Bob Thornton and Donald Trump). But that’s not to say if you notice your hair beginning to recede or thin slightly you need to throw the bald-headed baby out with the bathwater.
If you’re seeing more of your scalp than you used to, but you’re not quite Moby yet, there are steps that can be taken to conceal the beginnings of male pattern baldness.
Firstly, assess the damage with the help of a barber; they’ll be able to survey the fallout from all angles and advise on a style that’ll visually thicken what’s left of your thatch.
If you’re receding at the temples, go for a choppy, textured cut, says Ruffians artistic director, Denis Robinson. “This way, you can conceal the thinning at the temples by casually pushing the thicker hair over the affected areas. Avoid combing the hair back or trying to get a side parting as these styles will only accentuate thinning hair.”
“Alternatively, if you’ve got thick hair at the front and it’s just the top that’s bald, you could grow the length and then push it back over the balding spot,” adds Robinson. He does stress, however, that opting for this style comes with the risk that a sudden gust of wind from behind might reveal your secret. Still, it’s a smart way to buy yourself another few years before embracing the bald.
Raid The Medicine Cabinet
You might also consider enlisting the hair-boosting powers of chemistry, by using a topical vasodilator (a fancy term for a group of medicines that open blood vessels to allow blood to flow more easily) such as minoxidil, more commonly known as Regaine in the UK, or a prescription medication such as finasteride, both of which help prevent or even temporarily reverse pattern hair loss.
Regaine Foam For Men 3-Month Supply, available at Lloyds Pharmacy, priced £44.49.
Be Bold, Get Buzzed
While smart styling and chemical aids can slow the rate of hair loss, there will come a time for many men when their head most closely resembles that weird egg you get in a carton that looks as if it might hatch at any moment. And that, friends, is your cue to get the chop.
“Treatments for thinning hair only delay the process, so it’s important to come to terms with [your baldness] at some point,” says Robinson.
Break out the clippers and take the plunge. Wash your hair, towel-dry and then with the clippers set to a grade one or two, buzz until all that’s left is stubble. For extra smoothness, follow up by applying shaving cream or oil and allowing it to soften the follicles before shaving with a clean, sharp razor, taking care to shave with the grain. This is, unsurprisingly, not for the faint of heart, so consider booking time in the barber’s chair before mistakenly scalping yourself.
The Bald Man’s Bathroom Cabinet
Once you’ve buzzed your hair and committed to the #baldlyfe, you’ll need to bolster your bathroom cabinet with a few pate-enhancing products.
Since it’s more exposed skin than hair, a bald head is just as susceptible to dryness and flakiness as the skin on other parts of your body. Keep it soft and supple with a matte moisturiser like HeadBlade’s HeadLube matte moisturising lotion.
Again, like skin, a bald head needs its dead skin cells sloughed off now and then. Apply a little of whatever you use for your face to your noggin at least once a week.
Being particularly susceptible to sun damage, the skin on your head should be protected from the sun’s damaging UV rays at all times. That means an SPF moisturiser in the morning and a repairing moisturiser at night. Unless, of course, you’re not too bothered about spending the summer getting mistaken for a traffic light.
Frame Your Face
For many men, going bald isn’t so much about lamenting hair loss as what hair loss does to a man’s face. Why? Because what’s up top frames what’s in front. For men sadly not blessed with strong facial features including a 50p chin, big brows and a Roman nose, hair helps add size or angles where they weren’t before, ensuring features are highlighted or hidden as required.
If you can no longer get the stuff on your head to help, the hair on your face can. According to Robinson, growing a beard can draw focus towards the south of your skull and add structure to otherwise moon-shaped faces.
Style It Out
With hair quite literally out of the picture, other factors such as eye colour, skin tone and facial hair colour (if you have some) become more prominent. With that in mind, it’s worth making sure whatever’s closest to your head – whether that’s a scarf, tie or shirt collar – complements your colouring.
As a rule of thumb, wear warm shades of dark colours up top if you’re pasty, or feel free to experiment if your skin is olive or dark in tone.
As for hats, wear them not as a mere cover-up, but accessories in their own right. That means no chucking on whatever battered baseball cap is hanging around in the name of ensconcing your bonce.
Take Your Cue From Men Of Note (And Not Much Hair)
Not convinced bald is the way forward? Look to some famous (and follicularly-challenged) men. From Taye Diggs to Stanley Tucci, Common to Zinedine Zidane, there are plenty of A-listers who can show you how to nail the no-hair look.
“In any case, if you’re comfortable and confident you’re going to be far more attractive to other people – so better to embrace it sooner rather than later,” says Robinson.