Ignore the haters: beards are yet to tumble from Mount Cool. In fact, they haven’t even reached its peak, a point repeatedly proven by the likes of David Beckham, Hugh Jackman and Idris Elba – three Hollywood climbers famed for rather fine face carpets.
However, the road to hirsute perfection can be a rocky, or rather rough, one. Especially if you’re yet to invest in a decent beard oil, according to Pall Mall Barbers general manager Dan Davis. “Beards have cuticles that open like pores. Oil penetrates the hair to condition from the inside out.”
Which just leaves the decision of what to buy. So, we collated the best on the market to give your Everest beard the Beverly Hills treatment.
Bulldog For Men Beard Oil
Chemical nasties that aren’t kind to the face have no business in a beard, either. Keep things all-natural with Bulldog’s wholesome option: a simple concoction of aloe vera, green tea and camelina, as well as other essential oils. No fuss, and no ‘tache rash either.
Available at LookFantastic, priced £5.50.
Tom Ford Neroli Portofino Conditioning Beard Oil
Make like Jay-Z and rock some Tom Ford. The American designer’s runway skills translate well to his namesake grooming range, with a blend of almond, grapeseed and vitamin E guaranteed to get any beard on the A-list.
Available at Selfridges, priced £41.
Neville Beard Grooming Oil
The seven-year itch has nothing on a beard with a fortnight’s growth. Luckily, British brand Neville has devised a potion to soothe the scratch. The mixture of organic argan oil and cottonseed is designed to quench Saharan stubble of the driest kind, while simultaneously providing an oasis to the skin underneath.
Available at LookFantastic, priced £19.20.
Old Joll’s Black Pepper & Grapefruit Beard Oil
Never judge a hipster coffee table book by its cover – a saying that applies to beard oils, too. Apothecary bottles and anchor motifs aside, Old Joll’s beard oil is handmade in limited batches to ensure top-notch organic quality. Grande, iced, sugar-free, vanilla latte with soy milk not included.
Available at The Brighton Beard Company, priced £7.95.
Kiehl’s Nourishing Beard Oil
With over 166 years in the business, Kiehl’s is well-versed in the art of grooming – experience that bodes well for your beard. Expect manly woody scents and an all-new formula to smooth even the coarsest of crumb catchers. Old really is gold.
Available at John Lewis, priced £22.
Jack Black Beard Oil
Not to be confused with the joker of Tenacious D fame, Jack Black’s beard oil is no less a big hit. The American brand uses patented PureScience technology: a combination of organic products and anti-inflammatories to prevent any chin snowflakes.
Available at LookFantastic, priced £19.50.
Pall Mall Barbers Sandalwood And Clove Beard Oil
While ingredients in some oils sound like pure marketing spiel, others do have a practical purpose. Take Pall Mall Barbers’, for example: the notes of sandalwood are a proven fixative – an element that enhances the longevity of other scents – to keep your beard smelling box-fresh.
Available at Pall Mall Barbers, priced £27.
Anthony Pre-Shave Conditioning Beard Oil
For some extra ammo in your grooming arsenal, opt for Anthony’s pre-shave beard oil. This double-edged sword cuts a dual purpose: one as a facial hair hydrator, the other as a regular pre-shave stubble softener, should you wish to lose the beard.
Available at LookFantastic, priced £26.
The Bluebeards Revenge Classic Blend Beard Oil
A healthy beard should be more Captain Hook than Hagrid – something that makes The Bluebeards Revenge Beard Oil quite the Jolly Roger. Containing a combination of masculine-smelling oils, the Devonshire brand’s range is specially designed to tame unruly, unabashed beards. Land ahoy indeed.
Available at The Bluebeards Revenge, priced £9.99.
Acqua di Parma Collezione Barbiere Beard Serum
Italians do it better, and that includes grooming gear. Milanese brand Acqua di Parma’s serum is enriched with sweet almond oil and grapeseed, two ingredients that’ll coax a dry beard into da Vinci territory. Bellissimo.
Available at John Lewis, priced £28.05.